


Sweet Relief

by TopShelfOfficial



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I can not believe I'm writing something like this., I don't even know why I'm writing this, Toilet humor, based on a reddit post, implied plance but not really the point of the story., just crack, naturally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 00:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18884854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopShelfOfficial/pseuds/TopShelfOfficial
Summary: Pidge has been turned into a bird after accidentally angering a Fae-person. In the past few days she's been trying to learn how to use her new body. However, even with all the progress she's made, she's in for a little surprise.





	Sweet Relief

**Author's Note:**

> I blame this on my Discord Group. You know who you are.

It's been three days. Pidge Holt has been a Pigeon for three days. (Yes, the irony is not lost on her.) This shouldn't be happening to her. She might not have read any fairy tales in a long time, but she's pretty sure that when people get unwillingly turned into animals, it's because of some karmic retribution of some kind. All she did was try to stop an old Lady, or who she thought was not an old lady, from torturing animals in the Parking Lot. In hindsight, she probably should have minded her own business, when she saw some stranger performing some creepy ritual. Hell, she had enough on her plate as it was, what with her labs, internship, job, and study group that she technically didn't need but still attends for totally, non-crush reasons. And yet, she couldn't just let somebody do their weird spells out there in public, what if some kid got traumatized?

Well, now she had to steal people's fries to survive, and re-learn how to drink, for her troubles. The situation is most frustrating because it is so beyond her area of expertise. Rocket Science, Code-Breaking, Programming? She could do that in her sleep. Magic? She didn't even believe in it, until she felt her bones hollow out, and her body shrink. How was she supposed to get out of this? In fact, how was she going to explain to her professors and boss about where she's been for however long this is going to take. Somehow, she suspects "cursed into being a diminutive fowl" wouldn't cut it as an excuse.

And the cherry on top of this disaster sundae, she had no idea how to break the curse. She can't remember if the witch, Fae, whatever, told her what it is, and she's too afraid to find her again, after all what if she just kills her like she did with those other unfortunate animals? She wouldn't put it past her. She'd been trying to find some other, hopefully friendlier, practitioners, who might be able to help her out of this situation, but so far her search was coming up with squat. For a while she thought she was unto something, when she saw a flyer on the campus billboard calling out for 'magic enthusiasts', but it turned out it was just a group of Magic! The Gathering Fans.

One thing she couldn't complain about was the flying. Sure it took her just a little less time than learning how to drink, (Give her a break, she's not an Ornithologist!) but once she figured it out, it was actually quite pleasant. It is probably the only thing she will miss when she becomes human again. Yes, even with how dire her situation is, she refuses to believe that there was a possibility that she would remain like this. Sure, she's figured out how to survive, but this was no way to live. She had no idea, how long a pigeons lifespan was, or how much longer her pigeon body had before dying from natural causes. Plus there were other dangers, like predators, traffic, or just some ass-holes with guns to consider. Also, she's been holding back a pressure from her butt, because she suspected that it might be an egg, and as interesting as it has been from an inquisitive standpoint to experience these bird-like sensations, that was one thing she did not want to go through.

However, her body is very small, and as much as she tried to avoid this, there is only so much it can take. Plus, remaining pregnant--is that what you would call it for a bird? Again, not an Ornithologist.--might not be healthy for her. Which is why she finds herself at the window of one of the lecture halls at campus. Even though she's a bird now, she still feels self-conscious about expelling things from her body. Usually, she takes care of business in a bush at a nearby park, but in light of what she's about to do, that place felt just a little too crowded. She knows for a fact, that no lessons are held at this lecture hall today, so her chances of being seen are slim to non. 

_'Okay, Pidge, just get this over with and you can deal with the fallout later.'_ With that thought she begins to push. Within seconds of pushing, she realizes that it is not an egg. Never has a tiny fart been such a relief to hear. Yet, it is still three days worth of poop, so it is still a bit strenuous. A part of her feels guilty about the fact that she's defecating at one of her favorite lecture halls, but she takes comfort in the fact that nobody will witness her doing this. Until on of the doors slam open.

 

The good news is, she doesn't have to shit anymore. The bad new is, somebody saw her take a huge dump at the lecture hall where she learned about theoretical astrophysics. The worst news was that this somebody was Lance, the cute Cuban guy, she definitely wasn't in love with, a.k.a, the last person she would want to see her doing this. For minutes they just awkwardly stared at each other, until finally, Lance slowly backed out of the room. Completely humiliated, Pidge flew away the second he was out of site, without a concrete destination in mind. All she wanted to do was get as far away from the scene of the crime, until she stopped feeling so embarrassed.

 

However, as if this day had not been such an ordeal already, she suddenly got grabbed by some invisible force, and yanked down towards the ground. 

_'Brilliant, more magic yanking me around, exactly what I needed.'_ She braced herself for death, or at least a lot of pain, after all, the only person she knew of who had such a capability also had a penchant for very non-Peta approved activities, so she wasn't feeling too optimistic. However, of all the people to force-pull her out of the sky, Allura--Lance's ethereal looking EX--was not the person she had been expecting. Then again, she couldn't say she was completely surprised; If she had to put her money on anybody being magic, Allura would have been a sure bet. However, she was not quite reassured yet, and the array of emotions she saw on her face was not giving an indicator on how this encounter would go.

'...Pidge, is that you?'

_'Wait, What?!'_

 

**fin**


End file.
